So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
