this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
