i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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