so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
