If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize