My nipple is on Facebook.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
