i just had sex bonerless
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
