Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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