90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
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i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
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I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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