I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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