I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
did i just pee glitter
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