So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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