I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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