Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
