It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
