she looked like the bat from fern gully.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
