And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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