If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
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You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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