I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
