She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
