i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
