She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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