are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
