Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
