i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
