Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
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I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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