She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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