what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
