So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
