I'm really into asian looking animals
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
