My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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