So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
