My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
