i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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