Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
