So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
