i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
