I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
