She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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