I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
