The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
