Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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