Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
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