great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
