I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
