can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
