If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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