I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize