That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
