I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
