i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
