Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
