so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i drank out of a bidet.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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