you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
