does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My pussy is not your playground.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
