Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
