this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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