So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
