why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
this will be a night to untag.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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