Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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