I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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